restlessness...

I hate not being able to sleep... I went to bed with the idea in mind that I would wake up at 8am. Get up. Take a shower. Read my Bible. And actually do something with my day. But no! 2 o'clock... 4 o'clock... 6? Needless to say I shut off my alarm only to wake up with a bloody migrane. Anyway... One thing about not sleeping is your mind wanders. You think about crazy things! Sometimes too crazy that you, the thinking, don't even understand. However, I did realize something about myself last night. (or rather early this morning.) I need to be needed. I mean, when a friend is going through a hard time in there life... I find fullfillment. I feel complete. Not because of the hard time. But because they need me. (in a round about way) They call at all hours. Need to meet up to talk. I mean hard times are always better when you have a friend present to help you through them... am I right!? And I am always ready to be there for whatever is going on. However I have found that once they have pushed through this hard time and things get better... they don't need me anymore. I don't hear from them as offten. They don't share there lives as fully. And I begin to feel empty again. Now I don't have the answer to my problem here... but as I was thinking about this I began to realize that this is exactly how we treat God. And I began to wonder if he feels somewhat the same as I do? I mean obviously God know's He is needed and doesn't need us to need Him to feel complete. But it seems when we have a trial then it is when we seek God. We pray like never before... and then when we've gotten through it, we put God back on the shelf untill we need him again. Anyway. Dinner is ready and so I am off. But again, I just wanted to throw it out there...